Are the Songs My Disease?
by Pretty Like Drugs
Summary: AU There's a fine line between love and hate, especially when the person you hate is the one you used to love. Will Squall and Rinoa be able to cross that line, or end up hating each other more? [just read it] Ch2 Up!
1. There Wasn't Always Hatred

AN: This is the story that the author Glycerin and I were co-authoring, but she disappeared. So I guess I'll do it on my own. If you don't like it, well then, you can go away.

Chapter 1: There wasn't always hatred

The sky was gray, and the rain was falling hard on the sidewalk. It was one of those gloomy days where you just wanted to stay inside. Well, most people that is. As a girl walked past the record store, she stopped to read the flyers covering the window. She read them aloud:

"BE Records and Rock TV present: Battle of the Bands. If you have a rock band and are between the ages of 15-20, show up at your local Record Store on the dates provided below. Log on to www.BErecords.music.bm/BOTB for complete list or rules and regulations. Blah blah blah"

The girl grabbed the flyer and ran, her boots splashing in the puddles the faster she went. She turned the corner and headed straight for a slightly open garage door.

"Hey Selphie, Quistis." The brunette said casually.

"Rinoa, you're soaked! Where have you been this afternoon anyways?" A short girl with green eyes asked.

"Yeah…you could have caught pneumonia?" Quistis stated.

"Jeez, you guys sound like my mom…" She stopped suddenly after the last part "For your information, I have got the answer to our prayers. How to get the exposure our band needs! Take a look at this." She said as she handed them the flyer.

Quistis took it and gave her a weird look. "Rinoa, dear. This is just a wet wadded piece of paper. It's completely illegible."

Abruptly, the rain let up. Rinoa looked around. "Well, come to the record store with me and I'll show you what I meant."

"Ok, fine" Selphie told her. "Lets go."

The girls got up off the couch as they followed Rinoa out the door. They got down to the record store as Rinoa ran up and showed them the flyer.

"See you guys! This is what we need to do." Rinoa said as she started walking backwards.

Selphie and Quistis examined the paper as Rinoa kept on walking. Suddenly, she bumped into someone.

"Watch it Ri-hoa!" She heard a man behind her say.

She turned around, already knowing who it was. "Why don't _you_ watch it Leonhart!" she sneered.

He glared and walked passed her, Zell and Brian following.

"Hey Rin." Zell said as he waved.

"What's up Rinoa?" Brian asked stopping to converse with the girl.

"Hey Brian. We were just talking about signing up for the contest." She said pointing to the flyers taped to the window. She smiled at him coyly.

Squall turned his attention towards the two. "God..." He muttered rolling his eyes "Brian, get your ass over here!"

He hurried over as soon as heard the order.

Squall ripped a piece of paper of the large glass and read. "Ha! Wait a second Rin...your telling me you and your little chick band think you actually have what it takes to sign up for this! That's cute babe, really cute."

Rinoa gave glared at him. "Oh, and I suppose you think your little Simple Plan-wannabe, Emo band could do any better? Please, you haven't even seen us perform, but I've seen you and I can honestly say you sure as hell wouldn't last a second in that competition."

He just gave a week snicker. "Oh yeah? My band can beat your band any day!"

"Ha! You wish! We would kick your sorry Asses so hard you wouldn't know what hit you!" She yelled back.

"Oh yeah?" He asked

"Yeah!"

"Well why don't you put your money where you mouth is. $50 says we last longer in it than you do!" he smiled.

"$50 bucks? That's _it?_" Rinoa asked confidently "Too afraid you'll lose? Lets make it $100! No! $150!"

"Fine!" He answered shaking her hand powerfully, as she struggled to tear it away.

The two continued to argue while the rest of the group just looked at each other.

"Why do they always have to flirt like this?" Zell asked to no one in particular.

They both turned and said in unison "We are NOT flirting"

They looked at each other briefly and turned their backs.

"Come on you guys, we actually have practicing to do!" Rinoa said marching away, signaling the girls to follow her.

"Good, cause you'll need lots of practice going up against me Rinoa!" Squall shouted.

"Um, excuse me Squall" Zell interrupted "Don't you mean _us_?"

"You guys know what I meant. 'Hit Her' can beat their band any day." He said.

"Grrr! Who does that asshole think he is?" Rinoa asked angrily.

"Yeah...Rinoa you said you had some new songs, right? Let's here them!" Selphie said excitedly.

"...Ok. I was kind of...blah, you know, in a weird mood last night so...yeah." Rinoa said looking down.

"You've been in a weird mood all week Rin. You seem, I don't know... depressed. More than usual that is.

What's up?" Quistis asked sincerely.

"I agree. You have been acting kind of strange..." Selphie added.

Rinoa just rolled her eyes and said, "What's the hell? It's nothing! Probably just PMS, you guys don't have to get all after school special on me!" She turned around and walked away as Selphie and Quistis exchanged worried glances.

"Ok, like that's normal?" Selphie asked.

"Well, maybe for Rinoa..." Quistis answered.

"Yo guys!" They heard a familiar voice as they begun to turn around.

"Hey Zell, Brian." Quistis said. "Where's Squall?"

"Dunno. He said he forgot something at the park." Brian answered. "What about Rinoa?"

"She got upset after we asked her what was wrong with her lately." Selphie told them.

Quistis looked down, and then suddenly said, "I know one reason she's been so upset. Next week is her birthday. And the 11-year anniversary of her mothers death."

"That's right! And her dad isn't even giving her a sweet sixteen! Oh my gosh you guys, I have the greatest idea ever!" Selphie said in an ecstatic tone.

They all turned their attention towards the girl.

"We can throw her a huge surprise party! We can throw it at my house, I'm sure my parents would say yes!" She exclaimed.

They all looked at each other in agreement.

Rinoa had been wandering around a while and decided to go to the park to let off some steam.

"God, why do people always worry like this?" Rinoa thought, "It's like their lives are so dull, that they have to go over board at the slightest little thing. Calm down Rinoa. They're your friends. They care about you, that's all. Think about something else, like the contest. The nerve of that guy, thinking he's so hot! Although his band was pretty good when I saw them. Not that I'd ever admit that out loud."

She took an old notebook out of her book bag and began to write.

Kringle  
I got that special disease  
That knocks the shit out of me  
Cause when you break it, you buy it, you own it,  
Cause you get nothing for free  
He got that special disease  
He eats the scabs off my knees  
I've got a genocide hand on his forehead  
But he got nothing on me  
He smokes the cigarette trees  
He loves my hostilities  
He brings me flowers and candy and Kringle  
But that won't satisfy me  
I try to hate equally  
They say that's misanthropy  
Cause when I want it, I break it, I burn it, I own it, I have it, you'll see  
Collecting things that I've already owned  
I'm schizophrenic when I'm on the phone  
I guess that's why I'm never alone  
Cause I am never myself  
He wants to feed me the pentagram cereal  
He puts the spoon in my mouth and I choke  
He pushes farther and farther and farther down  
This stuff won't fit down my throat  
I got that special disease  
That knocks the shit out of me  
Cause when I break it, I buy it, I'll own it, I have it, I love it, you'll see

She finished the song, when she felt a presence behind her. She turned around to see a tall, blonde man reading over her shoulder.

"What do you want Seifer?" She asked him.

He sat down next to her, and gave a compassionate look. "I want another chance."

She looked up at him into his eyes, but quickly turned her head towards the ground. "Seifer, you say this every fucking time, and the last time I took you back, I just ended up getting hurt again."

"But I've changed since then. Please, just give me one more chance. Please Rinoa..." he begged.

There was a long moment of silence.

Finally she whispered, "What the hell do you expect me to do Seifer? How do I know that I can trust you, why should I give you another chance?"

He quickly stood up, with a frustrated look on his face.

"Because no one else gives a fuck about you but me. I'm the only person who will love you. I'm all you have."

She sat there for a second, sorting her thoughts. She looked up at him once more and said, "...maybe your right. Fine, Seifer, but this is your last chanced. Don't screw it up."

He gave her his trademark smirk and kissed her.

Meanwhile...

Squall walked around the empty playground. He heard footsteps behind him and turned around to see who it was.

"Hi Quistis."

"Hey Squall, um, Have you seen Rinoa any where?" She said in an eager tone. "I've been looking all over for her."

He looked at her angrily and said "Why the hell would I know where Rinoa is?"

Quistis sighed and was about to give a reply when she spotted her friend talking to Seifer.

Squall noticed the expression on her face and looked over to what she was staring at.

"What the fuck is he doing over there?" Squall asked.

"Shut up, I can't here what there saying." Quistis shushed him and they watched the seen unfold, her eyes widening as she saw the two kiss.

Quistis got up as Zell and Selphie came over them.

"What are you guys gawking at?" Selphie asked, looking over to Rinoa. "Oh I see…"

Squall stood up with a uptight look on his face.

"Squall, do I sense some jealousy?" Zell asked in a mocking tone.

"Fuck off! I would never be jealous of that ass hole. Rinoa's just a spineless bitch!" Squall said rushing off.

"God, what's his problem?" Zell asked while Selphie nodded her head.

"Him and Rin, like, used to be best friends." Quistis told them.

"No way. When was this?" Selphie asked

"Way before you guys moved here. Squall and I have known Rin since we were really young." Quistis said.

"Ok, this is the first time you anyone's ever said anything about this. Dish!" Selphie said bouncing up and

down.

"Well no-one really talks about it. There's lots of drama involved." She answered.

Selphie gave here a dull expression. "Since when has that ever stopped you before?"

"Ok, so it goes like this; we had known Rinoa for a long time. Squall and I lived on the same block as each other and went to the same school. Rinoa moved from Galbadia when she was three, and she happened to move to our block. Anyways, being from Galbadia, she still didn't speak English very well and had trouble in school, and being the remarkable eight year olds we were, Squall and I helped her. The rest was history.

Then the summer before 9th grade started, and totally changed everything. Rinoa started dating Seifer. Squall and Seifer had already hated each other, but when Rinoa started going out with him, Squall despised him even more. After awhile there were rumors going around school that Seifer and Rinoa had...well, you know. Then a lot of guys started going after Rinoa.

Squall got even more jealous and one day after school he confronted her about it. Now if she really did do anything with Seifer, I have no business telling you. I don't even really know, but it's not important. So, Anyways, he confronted her. I watched them argue, having no power to stop them. They got in a huge fight about it and he called her a whore. She slapped him and told him to never speak to her again.

I remember Squall running off and Rinoa crying on my shoulder. She had never cried that hard since her mother had died. After that they didn't speak for a longtime. And now they only argue. But I still think they're just hiding their true feelings. Squalls scared and Rinoa's still hurt." Quistis finished.

Whoa, that's crazy. I never knew that's what happened..." Zell commented.

"But what about Rinoa? Why is she back with Seifer again? Didn't he cheat on her the last time she went out with him?" Selphie asked.

"He's fucked her over so bad every time she's dated him. I don't know what it is that she sees in him I guess she just wants the attention.." Quistis sighed.

"Isn't their anything we can do?" Zell asked

"She won't listen to us. She's too stubborn." Quistis answered again. "It's her life. All we can do is let him break her heart again, and hope that she won't break along with it..."

: Awww, so how was it? Do ya like it? Tell me what you think, cause I actually like this story. : GASP: and I wrote this months ago! I even have Chapter 2 partially written, I'm just waiting for **enough reviews to update. **:


	2. Anywhere but here

Aww, thanks for all the feedback. I really do appreciate it!

To **Lady-Rinoa** sorry if you don't like Rinoa pictured as a whore, but she's not really a whore. She's a free spirit. Squall just mean like that, so he calls her one.

Oh yes and to **Ittan Momen** Kringle is not my song; I just forgot to give credit where credit was due. It's a song by Jack Off Jill. I recommend you check them out kids; they were awesome before the band broke up!

And again, thank-you to my reviewers.

Sorry if I have a lot of spelling/grammer mistakes. I have no beta-reader!

And for those who don't know, an **Au Pair** is a helping hand, a housekeeper/nanny.

Chapter 2: Anywhere but here.

I took the silver key out of my pocket and quietly opened the door to the empty house. "Good, Andrea's not home..."

Ever sense my mom died, the General constantly remarried. In my experience, all of his wives have been bitches. But Andrea? She was the absolute worst. She made Cinderella's step-mom look like Mother Teresa. But if you met her she'd convince you other wise. She was one of the best liars I've ever met.

As soon as I got in the door, I ran up to my room, locking the door behind me. I know that no one's home, but I guess it's just something I've gotten used to. See, it's a kind of a long story, how I came to get a lock on my bedroom door. But then again, we're not going anywhere are we?

See, it all begins when I moved to Balamb from Galbadia when I was three. Since the only thing the General seemed capable of doing was work, my mom decided to get separated from him, and she took me to live out here.

She thought a peaceful community was just what we needed, a place I could grow up happy and secure. Except it wasn't just me who she wanted to be happy. Even being as young as I was, I could see the pain that plagued her. It wasn't me she moved out her for; it was the hope of escaping _him_. However, life is cruel and fate decided a long time ago, that no matter where she was in the world, there was going to be someway he could hurt her.

All those hopes of me growing up a well-adjusted child were soon shattered the day she died. Yeah, one of those soap opera type situations. One night, when I was only two weeks away from turning five, it was raining hard. She had one too many glasses of wine, and decided to go out for a drive, hoping to ease her mind of the pain that the general caused her. She never came back.

After that, the General thought that it would be in my best interest if he and his new girlfriend moved out to Balamb. But being the General of the whole Galbadian military, he never actually moved out here. 2 months in the year he came to 'stay'. Only his girlfriends, wife's, fiancée's and an Au Pair lived with me. None of them actually liked me. I was just a pain to all of them. Well, except one, but we'll explain that another time.

So as it ends up, the General seems to collect women with anger management issues. Andrea had been living with me for about a year now, and the longer we live together, the more violent she gets. This woman is just _crazy_. Now, I can take the slap in the face, even a $250 vase being thrown in my direction, but when the woman throws a goddamn knife at me, that's when I go to the local hardware store and buy the heaviest fucking lock I can find.

And that's the story of how Rinoa Heartilly got a lock on her bedroom door. That wasn't too long was it?

I sat down at my computer and clicked the little blue icon for the Internet. I reached around my pocket and typed in the web address listed on the flyer I pulled out. I looked at the page, and rolled the cursor over the section entitled "Requirements" and read it out aloud.

"You will perform a total of 20 songs throughout 2-month period.

All music must be original, it may not be written by any one other than your band unless you are covering a song.

You must be at least 16 years of age.

You may not have any form of relationship with any of the judges.

Your band must consist of 4-7 people.

In result to any misconduct or breaking the rules, your band will be disqualified and sent home.

Click here to view the dates when you can sign up at your local record store"

_Four _people? Two months? I took out my cell phone and pressed speed-dial number one. "Hey Quistis..."

The next day

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU'RE LEAVING THE BAND!" Zell yelled as he looked at his friend.

"I'm moving to Dollet in two days! What do you expect me to do, leave my parents?" Brian explained.

"Dude, it's our last year in high school, how can they expect you to move right before graduation!" Zell asked, still upset.

"My grandma is really sick, we have to go out there to take care of her..." He told them.

Zell looked down, "Squall, don't you have anything to say?"

"..." Obviously he didn't, he continued to run his hand through the long hair covering his eyes. If that isn't the epitome of an emo boy.

"I'm really sorry you guys, I want to move about as much as you want me to. But you'll find another drummer." Brian explained as he stood up, putting on his backpack. "Later..."

Zell watched as he walked away... "Fricken Hell! Where are we gonna find a replacement?"

Squall looked up. "I don't know. But for that battle of the bands thing, we need to have at least four band members..."

"What! Ah man, now we'll never get to be in the competition." Zell looked down and walked off, leaving a silent Squall to play with his hair in peace.

Quistis and Selphie were busy eating their lunch when Zell pulled up a chair and sat next to them.

"Zell, you look super bummed. What's the deal?" Selphie asked, noticing his glum expression.

He sighed, "Brian's moving to Dollet and he's quitting the band!"

"That sucks" Quistis said.

He looked at her and said, "Tell me about it! And that's not even the entire problem! Now we find out we have to have at least four members in our band to be part of the competition."

"Yeah, Rinoa just told us about that rule last night. We need to find another member. We're thinking of another guitar player or something, cause Rinoa said all she wants to do is sing. Not play guitar." Selphie told him in an attempt to relate to his problem.

Suddenly Quistis sat up straight. "Hey you guys, I just got the greatest fucking idea ever."

Zell and Selphie gave her a questioning look. She sighed and began to explain her master plan.

"Zell, your the bass player, Brian was the drummer, and Squall was guitar and vocals, am I right?" She asked.

Zell narrowed his eyes at her, "Yes...but what does that have to do with anything?"

She continued, "And I play bass, Selphie plays drums, and Rinoa is guitar and vocals. Put it together! We can combine bands! Selphie can play drums, you can play bass, and since Rinoa doesn't want to play guitar anymore, she can sing while Squall plays!"

Selphie shook her head in a pleased manner. "Quistis, you forgot something...what the hell will you do!" She asked

Quistis smiled. "Well, I know how to play the piano, so I can play keyboard. And that'll allow me to added sound effects we can't usually use."

Zell thought for a second. " Quisty, it sounds like a great idea, but... have you gone crazy! Squall and Rinoa hate each others guts, how could they ever work together?"

"Hey, it's everything for the band. If they really want to compete in the contest, then they'll have to get over their petty differences and learn to work together!" Quistis said, slamming her fist on the table. She cringed and rubbed the side of her hand.

Selphie smiled and nodded her head, "Quistis is right! It's not just about them, it's about the whole band! All for one and one for all!" She exclaimed.

Zell liked the idea of that. He thought Squall was just a little to cocky for his own good anyways.

Quistis then continued eating her fries and said, "Plus...we just won't tell them for until later."

I walked up to the counter in the library and checked out the book, "War and Peace". All we ever do in my stupid English class is book reports. And Sister Anne was the meanest nun I ever met. It's no surprise she had to become a one, she probably wasn't able to get a husband, so she decided she'd "marry god".

The librarian (why yes she's also a nun, good guess) handed me back the book and I hurried out of the library. I decided it was best I find Zell and come up with a solution to our little dilemma.

I walked into the cafeteria, and spotted Zell, who was sitting with Selphie, Quistis and, of course, my best friend. Note the sarcasm.

I reluctantly treaded over to the table and sat down next to Zell. I put my books on the table and looked at my hands.

"Hey Squall." They all, with the exception of Rinoa, said in unison.

I gave them a quizzical stare. I noticed Rinoa doing the same. . Something is up.

"Hi..." I answered suspiciously. They all continued smiling at each other. Something was definitely up.

"What the hell is up with you guys today?" Rinoa asked.

Selphie just shrugged, "I don't know what you're talking about Rin. What's up with _you_ today?"

She just crossed her arms and looked away, obviously confused by the statement. Not that it's hard to confuse her.

After and moment of awkward silence I finally spoke up. "Zell, have you thought of anything yet?"

Zell looked at me with a stupid grin on his face, "Yeah but I can't tell you right now."

I was about to say something when the bell rang. This was going to be a long day. And the fact that it's Monday doesn't help.

I waited patiently for the bell to ring, which is more than I can say for the _lovely_ girl sitting next to me. Again, with the sarcasm.

"Will you stop fidgeting?" I snapped at her.

She glared at me and continued to shake her leg, making our desk slightly shake. "No, will you stop wearing your pants so tight? I mean, do you actually sew your uniform so your pants are like that? Sometimes I question your sexuality."

"Do you purposely pull your skirt up that high, or does it come natural to skanks?" I shot back.

She opened her mouth to say something when there was a loud rap on the desk. We both looked up to see a very angry nun.

"Would you two be quite? That is unless you'd like me to send you to see Father Flanagan?"

We both looked down and muttered the words "Sorry."

"Good. You two will be staying after school to clap erasers." She informed us, as the bell rang and everybody left the classroom. I noticed Zell and the door, pointing at me and laughing. Dammit, why doesn't Sister Sarah just turn the fuck around?

Before I could even glare at him, Sister Sarah set a box of erasers full caked with chalk dust in front of us.

"You two aren't leaving until all these erasers are clean." She told us and walked out of the room.

Rinoa stared at me angrily. "This is all your fault Squall!"

"_My_ fault? Your the one who can't sit still!" My fault? What a little bitch!

"You could have ignored me, we only had one more minute! But NO, you had to be a jackass and get us in trouble." She said as she threw an eraser at me.

It hit me right in the crotch. Not that the impact of her _weak_ throw hurt, but now there's a big white mark on my crotch.

She smirked and turned around, clapping the eraser away from her face. I took another one and threw it. And it hit her right in the ass. Ah, sweet revenge.

I continued to clean the erasers when she jumped, yes jumped, on my back.

"What the fuck do you think your doing?" I yelled, "Do you honestly think your bony arms could choke me?"

"You – are – such – an asshole!" She yelled. She continued trying to injure me until we heard a voice yell, "What do you two think you are doing!"

We stood there in shock before she got off of me. "Um..." She began, but was interrupted by Sister Sarah

"Forget it! Go home now you two, or I will send you to Father Flanagan!" I don't think I could say enough Hail Mary's to be forgiven for what I want to do to Rinoa.

I don't think I could say enough Hail Mary's to be forgiven for what I want to do to Rinoa right now.

Why we were still walking together, I don't know, but we hadn't said a word since Sister Sarah caught me trying to kill Squall. I don't even want to imagine she _thought_ we were doing, it was humiliating.

Suddenly my cell phone rang. Quistis. "Hello?" I asked.

"_Hey Rin, are you and Squall together right now?"_

I grimaced at the words 'you and Squall together'. "Unfortunately, yes."

_"Great, can you guys stop by my house? Bye!"_

She hung up before I could even answer. Great.

"Quistis wants us to stop by her house." I sighed.

Squall just kept looking at the ground, hands in his pockets. "Whatever..."

I rolled my eyes. "You're so emo..."

"Great! You guys are here!" Selphie exclaimed as Squall and Rinoa walked into the garage. Zell and Quistis stood next to her, arms crossed and smirking.

Squall looked uneasy. "...What's going on?"

Quistis looked at the two of them. "Sit." She commanded. And so they did.

"Now, you two are aware of the contest rules stating that there must _at least _be four member in the band." Zell began.

Rinoa put her head in her hands. She didn't like where this was going.

"Well, Selphie just happens to be a drummer, I happen to be a bass player and Quistis knows how to play the keyboard. Now, what else does a band need?"

Selphie smiled. "Hmm, Squall knows how to play guitar and Rinoa can sing like there's no tomorrow. Gee..."

"I have a great idea! Why don't _they _join our band!" Quistis said. They weren't very good at acting.

Rinoa and Squall stood up and started yelling.

"You guys are on CRACK!"

"If you think I'm working with _her_ then you need therapy!"

"Cause there is no way I'd ever, ever, ever-"

Quistis interrupted them. "Whatever happened to "anything for the band" Rinoa?"

"Yeah, all for one and one for all, Squall!" Zell added.

"Just cause you guys are the lead singers means you get to make the final decisions. Majority rules and it's three to one." Selphie started, and then took a more serious tone.

"Can't you guys just put asides your differences to work together! We're saying this as your band members, but more importantly as your friends. This band is just as important to all of us as it is to you guys, and if you can't sacrifice your silly pride for this, then maybe you aren't as good of friends as we thought you were."

Squall looked away and put his hands in his pocket. He did feel kind of bad for always bossing Zell around. And he did make a vow that nothing would come between the band.

Rinoa pouted and stomped her feet, like a four year old. They were right, and that frustrated her. "Fine, I don't care..." She finally answered.

"Squall?" Zell asked

He folded his arms and looked away. "Whatever..."

"YES!" Selphie yelled jumping up and down.

Quistis smiled. "Great, we have two and a half months to practice. We'll be meeting here everyday after school."

: So ya guys, what did you think? I have a feeling this story's gonna be a long one, so you better keep on reviewing if you want me to update! So long &goodnight :


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